The Gentlest Reminders

For anyone impatiently navigating life's joys alongside disappointment

Today I am here with something a little different than what and how I normally share. A long time ago, back when I taught yoga full-time, I would find loving words flowing out of my mouth before we even got to savasana at the end of each class. I felt like the vessel of Love I’d prayed to become before stepping into the studio. The messages were simple, yet profound and true reminders. Things we all (myself included) needed to hear that day: “You are enough. You are making a difference. You are loved.” Today’s post is a glimpse of that vessel-ness. If it resonates with you, a heart and a comment on this post would mean the world. Thank you for being here - I hope you enjoy this one.

Photo by sadaf radi on Unsplash

Snapping the crisp ends of fresh green beans to throw into the winter stew simmering on my stove for dinner this evening, I was overcome with the urge to sit down and articulate the divine knowing pouring through my heart. I put down the paring knife, slid the green beans from the wooden cutting board into the pot, turned the heat down to low, and made my way to my writing desk.

All day today, my heart has swelled for a few of the dearest people in my life. Each of them are in a season of waiting for something they have longed for for what feels like far too long, yet at the same time are celebrating victories in other areas. Celebrating these victories brings a bitter taste to their mouth, or is accompanied by a painful jab in their side, though, seemingly because to celebrate these things that are inherently good is an unwelcome reminder of what they are longing to celebrate instead (or also).

Financial success, but the lack of a romantic partner to share it with. Purchasing a new home, but practically close to work instead of where they really want to be. Upgrading to an SUV with room for a car seat, but still no positive pregnancy test. A thriving baby, but a floundering marriage. Finally realizing financial freedom, but with the loss of a parent. The examples of how real life actually tends to go are unending, yet so many of us struggle with isolation and loneliness when celebrating how and when society deems it acceptable to leaves something to be desired.

I know that you have heard it all, and that you have tried it all. Well-meaning advice from people so far removed from your current reality, who have never had to think twice about things older generations took for granted. They say, “Just be patient.” “Pray about it.” “Be grateful for what you already have.” “Act as if you already have the thing you want, and you will attract it to you.” “Be the kind of partner you want to find.” “My friend had a baby at fifty-one, so you have plenty of time.” “There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

Meanwhile, each time you hear yet another piece of cheap, cliché advice, you throw up in your mouth a little. I am not writing you to give you more of the same. In fact, I am here today without any advice at all. Instead, I offer you these simple reminders of truth.

With the humble hope that these words reach someone who needs them, here is the gentlest of reminders: life was never designed to be perfect. The moments we look back on and remember as idyllic are worn by time, love, nostalgia, and the mysterious and fleeting nature of human memory. While we find those moments worthy of longing for, they, too, were accompanied by imperfection, by details we have allowed to fall away into the periphery because they didn’t matter in the end, after all. What did matter remains: the magic and the warmth. The love.

Whatever this season of life has brought you, both the wonderful and the unsavory, may you remember that you are not alone. That you are allowed to both celebrate the great things - and to allow yourself to be celebrated - even while mourning something else, or that it didn’t quite look or feel the way you thought it would. Dear one, this is life. As far as it seems from perfection, perhaps it was designed this way to keep us close to each other, to keep the complex fibers of each our lives interwoven with one another’s. Or to remind us that we need faith. Or to keep us from being swallowed by complacency or arrogance.

I hope you remember that all is coming in its own perfect timing. That there have been things you just knew you ready for, yet they didn’t come until you’d all but forgotten about the desire in your heart of hearts for them. When they did arrive, the new perspective you had for them, the gratitude and maybe even the awe that they didn’t land on your doorstep the very moment you first summoned them.

I have seen and experienced the wait for something requiring another person to be the most challenging. Personal milestones, like completing a master’s degree, and financial ones, like buying a new home, do not require the same level of faith and perseverance. We can achieve these things with very little external help, they are goals one can accomplish despite anyone else’s direct participation.

However, romantic relationships require both people to be on the same page and the same general timeline. And babies only join us on a schedule only known by God. Don’t give up or lose heart, dear one. Who knows what this year will hold? A few months from now, you very well may find yourself exactly where you wondered if you’d ever be. You are worthy of everything you are praying for - it is all beautiful.

5 Gentle Reminders:

1. You are worthy. You are worthy. You are worthy.

2. Every desire in your heart related to love was placed there by God (meaningful friendships, closeness to family, marriage, children, etc…).

3. This season of waiting is temporary.

4. You are not alone.

5. You are loved beyond measure.

Sending love to where you are,

Cristina

P.S. If someone comes to mind who needs these reminders, too, please share this post with them.